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By Thaq Diesel

The Reds are off to a start nobody figured would happen.  Their starting pitching has been almost great and they’ve scored the runs people expected them to.  Yet despite the good start, even I (the eternal optimist) fear and expect the worst with each loss. 

Take today’s game for example.  The Reds had a rare bad outing by a starter today against the Cardinals and the Reds lost to them like it seems they always do.  But the season series is 1-1.  I just looked and the Reds are still ahead of the hated Red Birds by a full game.  It’s like I’m flinching from a bully [the Cardinals, aka Biff from Back to the Future] that has smacked me around for the past three years.

“Hey you!  Get your damn hands off my team! {Harang wins 1-0 decision}”
“NOW DON’T CON ME, MCFLY”
“You’re right, Biff.  I was going to go back to letting you kick around my starting pitching.”

Man, I feel like I’m the worst fan in the world.  It’s like I’m Randy Quaid in “Major League” bemoaning the Reds for everything they’re doing.  “Nice start Dave Williams.  Roll the ball up there next time!”  I need to get better about this.  I think the Reds need to be 7 games within first or closer for me to be cured of this syndrome.  Or I could fly to St. Louis and punch out Biff myself.  Let me check with Crispin Glover and get back to you.

By Thaq Diesel 

Well it’s a week into the season.  The start has been encouraging.  To wit:  The Reds have a better record than the Yankees and Cardinals.   A look at the 2006 Reds that are starting the long march through the Summer:

Pitching

1. The starters have been a pleasant surprise.  Four quality starts, three wins by starters.  Arroyo has shown that he likes the long ball (hitting rather than giving them up - who knew?).  I heard a couple radio commentators remind us that in Little League, the best athletes were always pitchers and those kids could always jack it out of the park.  They were also usually the coach’s son and played shortstop when they weren’t pitching.   Me?  I played second base, but I did play.
2. The bullpen has been abysmal, almost blowing most of the games.  David Weathers has had a good start with two saves in two appearances. 
3. Chris Hammond has an ERA of 189.00.  No, I didn’t transpose a decimal place.  Regardless of the fact that it’s early, I’ve never, ever seen an ERA that high.  And this from a guy who spent an entire summer playing Super Baseball Simulator 1,000 on Super Nintendo.    

Wins

1. It’s tough to complain; bottom line, a 4-2 start beats most other scenarios.  It’s tough to feel great when you beat up on the Pirates who have the worst record in the majors right now.  And it’s tough to feel great about your prospects when you give up an average of 7.8 runs per game.   Tough thoughts all around.  Let’s enjoy it while it lasts.
2. The Reds have found a way to win high scoring games.  My brother-in-law and I both agree that the Reds are the Texas Rangers circa 1999.  They give up lots of runs and score lots of runs.  When the batting gets cold, it’s probably not going to be pretty.

Miscellaneous

1. Why the hell do the Reds open the season by playing one day then taking a day off?  I just don’t understand it.
2. Tony Womack has been a pleasant surprise in platoon duty. 
3. Who would have thought that Rich Aurilia would be leading the team in RBI a week into the season?
4. Which starter goes to the bullpen when Paul Wilson comes back?  Does it matter?
5. The Cubs will be a good litmus test for how this season will go.  They seem to have their stuff together.

Alright, it’s time to get serious.  Not me, the Reds.  They kick off their season at home on Monday against the Cubs.  If you remember way, way back, the Reds swept the Mets in their opening series.  Of course it all went downhill from there.  I’ve turned into a pessimist, but with new ownership, it won’t take much to pull me back into the fold.  With that, I have three predictions.

1)  The Reds will have a losing record

2)  The Reds will have a team ERA above 5.00 again

3)  Adam Dunn will hit 50 homeruns, although there’s a good chance that some of those come with another team.

Bronson Arroyo looked great yesterday in the Reds shutout win over Arroyo’s former team.  Bronson threw seven shutout innings and gave up three hits.  He struck out nine.  The bad news is, the solid start reduced his ERA to healthy 6.85.

Austin Kearns and Adam Dunn both turned it up in the second half of the spring.  Dunn now has five homeruns and he’s slugging .708.  Kearns picked up his batting average to .295.  Both of these guys were hovering around the Mendoza line not that long ago, although with this few at bats, all it takes is a good couple of games to get those numbers up.

Finding Joy in the Misery of Others
By Thaq Diesel

I was in Colorado a week ago and saw an advertisement for Colorado Rockies season tickets. They listed off their starting players (”…come see as the Rockies talents like…Brad Hawpe…Cory Sullivan…Yorvit Torrealba!”) and I didn’t recognize a single one of them. Why didn’t they list Todd Helton or Matt Holiday? Or maybe I didn’t hear their names. Couple that with the rotation the Rockies are fielding (Jeff Francis [14-12 5.68 ERA], Jason Jennings [6-9, 5.02 ERA], the inexplicably sought-after Josh Fogg [6-11 5.05 ERA - can you see this going north of 7.00 in the mile-high air? I can.] and, ladies and gentlemen, Byung-Hyun Kim [5-12 4.86 ERA]!) and any self-respecting baseball fan in Denver is poised to take their cyanide capsules.

At least I’m just marginally depressed about this year’s prospects. I mean, outside of pitching, the Reds are pretty good; they have great power, good speed, and more platoon players than the Red Army circa 1981.

I hate dwelling on a negative aspect, but at least the Reds on paper don’t suck as badly as the Rockies. I guess I’m looking for any silver lining at this point to help me get past the Reds pitching. I have now officially jinxed the Reds into playing 20 games below the Rockies this year. Thank you.

Wily a Red No Mo
By Thaq Diesel

The trade today by the Reds and Red Sox of Wily Mo Pena for Bronson Arroyo is great news for Reds fans. It’s one pitcher, yes, but Arroyo is a quality pitcher and probably our number 2 or maybe number 1 pitcher. Lord knows there’s not much out there available without having to give up the farm. I applaud the front office for making this move. It made my day.

The trade makes the outfield less crowded. It explains why Dunn has been playing left field the past few days. It explains why Scott Hatteberg was signed. It made the team better.

Wily Mo and his talent and upside will be missed. Wily has officially entered into the Bip Roberts memorial “Quality Player Who is a Former Red” Hall of Fame.

You haven’t opened an Ayn Rand novel, and I’m not an Objectivist. I’m a Reds fan. I bleed Red and long for the days when Lou Pinella was manager, and gulp, Marge Schott was the owner (that was tougher to write then I thought).

And I now have a nice forum to spout (best word for it) my views on the Reds, baseball, and life in general. I’m a good friend of Brian, who writes over at Tigerblog, and he and our other good friend Jay, of Grousehouse Media fame, helped put this together for me.

But back to the original question. Who is Blade Stevens? I’m a semi-pubilc figure who owns my own business, and for reasons I couldn’t even begin to list here, would like to remain anonymous. So, I had to come up with a pseudonymn. And that’s when I had a flash from the past.

A long, long, long time ago, Brian and I made up a baseball game using two six sided dice. It was pretty basic, but actually worked out quite well. He was the Tigers and I was the Reds, and we’d play at times together, but mostly on our own. Then we’d meet up, compare stats, and play the World Series, which means one of us (the loser) wasted a ton of time, because that was basically the funnest and most competitive part.

On each team, we had a guy who had special attributes, which allowed for modifiers when we rolled the dice. Brian, being as vain as he is, named his player after himself. I, on the other hand, got creative and came up with a name of my own.

So, I introduce to you, the five time NL MVP of dice baseball, Blade Stevens. One season he jacked 54 homers, and this was back when mid-30s led the league. He was a stud.

But I digress. Since blades have sharp edges, you get the Reds Cutting Edge. My little home on the web.

Now you’re probably sitting back there, and you’re asking yourself, “If he grew up in Detroit, how did this punk become such a rabid Reds fan?” The answer is simple enough. I lived in the Cincy area until I was five, and moved to the Detroit area. My dad was a major Reds fan, so I grew up a Reds fan. We didn’t get to see them play too often, but the funnest part of the morning was sitting down with dad and checking out to see how the Reds did in the boxscores. By that time the Reds were losing (early 80s), so it wasn’t quite as cool as the Red Machine days, but it’s a fond memory.

So, that’s me. Just a few quick facts, and I promise from here on out I won’t get too sentimental on you, and will stick to baseball, and an occasional dig on Brian. My favorite player is Adam Dunn. The guys a stud, and one day it might be him who’s entering the 700 homerun club (congrats to Barry Bonds for hitting his 700th last night).

My favorite website is Reds Daily. JD Arney is a spectacular writer, and I really enjoy keeping with the Reds by stopping there often. If my website could become half of what his is, I’d do somersaults across my lawn. I also enjoy Tigerblog, even though the only thing Brian and I agree on is who the greatest manager of all time is. The only thing we argue about is who Sparky’s best team was.

But, I have to say I like Tigerblog because Brian is helping me out. If you enjoyed his 1984 Tigers diary, he’s going to the exact same thing for the 1975 Reds next year, so you’ll be able to relive the days of the Big Red Machine. I’m excited. I’m jacked. I’m doing somersaults on my lawn.

And the neighbors are calling the cops. Shit.

Have a great weekend folks. And GO REDS!!!!!

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