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Finding Joy in the Misery of Others
By Thaq Diesel

I was in Colorado a week ago and saw an advertisement for Colorado Rockies season tickets. They listed off their starting players (”…come see as the Rockies talents like…Brad Hawpe…Cory Sullivan…Yorvit Torrealba!”) and I didn’t recognize a single one of them. Why didn’t they list Todd Helton or Matt Holiday? Or maybe I didn’t hear their names. Couple that with the rotation the Rockies are fielding (Jeff Francis [14-12 5.68 ERA], Jason Jennings [6-9, 5.02 ERA], the inexplicably sought-after Josh Fogg [6-11 5.05 ERA - can you see this going north of 7.00 in the mile-high air? I can.] and, ladies and gentlemen, Byung-Hyun Kim [5-12 4.86 ERA]!) and any self-respecting baseball fan in Denver is poised to take their cyanide capsules.

At least I’m just marginally depressed about this year’s prospects. I mean, outside of pitching, the Reds are pretty good; they have great power, good speed, and more platoon players than the Red Army circa 1981.

I hate dwelling on a negative aspect, but at least the Reds on paper don’t suck as badly as the Rockies. I guess I’m looking for any silver lining at this point to help me get past the Reds pitching. I have now officially jinxed the Reds into playing 20 games below the Rockies this year. Thank you.

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